Traditions vary, change and evolve, and it is often unclear ( other than some glaringly obvious duties, like stand up at the wedding!) what is expected of a bridesmaid. There are books, magazine articles, and blog posts discussing this, but what it really comes down to is what the bride wants/needs. And that can vary a lot.
So, in order to avoid any confusion, hurt, or frustration, err on the side of giving too much info. If you are having showers, parties, etc, let them know which dates you'd like them to keep free and how you see their role in the event. Give them a breakdown of what you're thinking for the wedding day and days leading up to it. Make clear who is paying for what for any expenses like clothing, shoes, accesories, accomodations, etc. Don't assume that they know your expectations, and also ask them what theirs are. If you are thinking they will have a lot of things to be involved in, and they are thinking they just show up for the wedding, that needs to be clarified.
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