Remember, the Bride is the Boss!

I don’t see many men in my line of work, but now and again fathers or brothers, and even fiancés make their way into our store. I think it’s fabulous when they come, but it can add another dimension to the dress selection process. The other evening, one gentleman took me aside and whispered: “I just want to make sure I’m doing the right thing. I’m here to be the cheerleader, right? She’s got it figured out, so I shouldn’t try to have too many opinions. I should just approve her choice.” I wanted to hug him, but I refrained. I think I just laughed at the time, but what I should have said was “YES!! YES!!” So I’m saying it now. I’m not saying the groom should not have input about the wedding, but when it comes to the dresses, the bride is the boss! Most dads have this one figured out- they come in, say that everything looks nice, and are warmly supportive of their daughter’s choice. There are enough complications without adding a critical groom or dad to the mix, so ladies, let your man know that while you value his input, when it comes to the gowns what you want is the most important thing!

Short and Sweet

Tea length and knee length wedding gowns are a great option for the bride who wants to do something fabulous and different. They can work in settings other than the beach, have a ton of flair, and give you a chance to show off those legs! Top it off with a flirty veil or even a long flowy one, and you’ll be set! Check out Watters and Watters and Wtoo for some great options- in particular I love "Lola" and "Cancun." (I couldn't get pictures off their site or I would have.)

Keeping it Together

Staying organzied while planning your wedding is key, and there are tons of great books and planning tools out there to help you avoid getting frazzled. The budget-minded bride can find everything she needs to stay organized without spending a penny if she knows where to look online. Here's a link to a great tool for keeping your bridal party organized and on track, as well as figuring out how much each girl needs to budget once everything is included.

http://wedding.theknot.com/bridal-fashion/bridesmaid-dresses/articles/a-comprehensive-bridesmaid-worksheet.aspx

Mix and Match Maids: Pros and Cons

Having each bridesmaid in a different dress is an increasingly popular option for wedding parties these days, with good reason- everyone can choose a dress they like and feel comfortable in. However, there are some potential issues brides will want to be aware of if this is the route they choose. First, most manufacturers will not guarantee dye lots with different style dresses, even if they are in the same fabric. (If you’re planning to do different colors as well as different styles this won’t be a concern.) Ordering gowns in the same fabric from the same designer will minimize potential variations, but there is never a guarantee. A potential benefit with this is that since the dye lot isn’t going to be guaranteed even if they’re all ordered together, each maid can place her own order wherever it’s most convenient for her. Second, if careful thought isn’t given to coordinating the looks of the girls, the overall effect can be sloppy and distracting. This can be true even if you keep the same style and do different color dresses. It can work and be gorgeous, but trying to make sure everyone ends up with something that will work with the other dresses can be more challenging than trying to find a single dress that will work. So, keep these things in mind as you make your plans!

For the MOB's and MOG's

Mothers aren’t the stars of the show on wedding day, but they should dress for the role of best supporting actress. The ultimate rule is of course that what the bride says goes: If she approves, you’re fine. It is also technically the Mother of the Bride who should choose her outfit first, with the Mother of the Groom deferring her choice. In my opinion, it looks a little silly to have the mothers match the exact wedding colors, or both wear the same shade of color (see picture!), but either of those is better than clashing, and there can be some exceptions. If navy, black, or a dark brown is one of the colors, then it can work for the mother(s). Periwinkle blue or red, not so much. Also, avoid white or ivory, unless it’s lace trim or maybe an accent. Some of my favorite mother’s gowns are from Collection 20 by Watters and Watters. They have lovely fabrics and very classic, elegant styles. Also, it’s perfectly acceptable to wear an appropriate bridesmaids dress- no one needs to know! If anyone else has advice/ideas, feel free to comment!

When should you say "Yes" to the Dress?

In the olden days, before the advent of the internet and the explosion of consumer options we now regard as normal, brides would go to a few local shops, try on a selection of gowns, and make their choice in a relatively short period of time. Today’s bride has an overwhelming array of possibilities before her, and may begin shopping a year or more before her wedding, trying hundreds of dresses before purchasing that one special gown. In my interactions with brides, many say they are waiting for that moment when they put on a gown and are totally blown away, for that “WOW!” and maybe some tears. Others seem to have a checklist, and once they find the dress that has everything they want, that’s it. Others find several dresses they love and agonize over which one to choose. And some brides just find something they like and go with it- no big deal! I want to hear your thoughts, stories, etc. How did you know which dress was “the one” for you? Any fun or crazy stories? Advice for undecided brides?

Preparing for Trying Times

Going wedding dress shopping isn’t quite like any other experience. Every salon has their own way of doing things- some are very strict about what you can and cannot do, others take a more laid back approach. You may be allowed to browse through gowns or you may not. Some shops allow pictures, others do not, etc. No matter the store, it always helps to be prepared and have done your homework so that you can make the most out of your trip and not end up frustrated or disappointed. Here’s a checklist to look over before you set off on your spree to make sure you have the most productive experience possible.

1) Check to see if you need an appointment, especially if you’ll be shopping over the weekend. Even if the store will accept walk-ins, you’re better off setting up an appointment to make sure you’ll be able to try gowns on. Find out how long the appointment is and whether or not you need a separate appointment for bridesmaids and wedding gowns if you wish to look at both.
2) Many stores will have websites that list the designers they carry, and designers will also list the stores that carry their gowns. However, just because a store carries a line does not mean they will have a sample of every dress from that line on hand. If you are interested in a specific dress, find out which stores in your area carry that line and then call the stores to see if they have that particular sample. Not all stores will give out this information, but it’s worth a shot.
3) Do some looking online to see what’s out there and what you think you may like. It’s hard to know what will look the best without trying gowns on, but if you’ve done some looking before you go in to the store you’ll have a bit of an idea of what you’re interested in. Bring in pictures to show your sales consultant what you mean until you become more familiar with dress terminology.
4) Wear underwear you’re not scared to be seen in and that won’t get in the way. Your sales consultant is most likely going to be helping to dress and undress you to some degree, so be ready for that. I have seen quite a few hot pink thongs during my career, and while I don’t mind if you don’t mind, sometimes they show through the gown and if you aren’t able to zip the sample it can be a little awkward with that flash of pink in the back. If you have a strapless bra, bring it. It is also a good idea to bring shoes that are approximately the height you'll be wearing on your wedding day.
5) If you have your heart set on wearing you grandma’s necklace or tiara or a particular pair or earrings, etc, bring them or something similar along so you can make sure they’ll work with your gown. You may not want to try them on with every dress, but have them on hand so that when you think you’ve found “the one,” you can try them on then and there to make sure.
6) If you want another opinion as you shop, bring a trusted friend or your mom, at MOST 2 people. Do NOT bring 5 or 8 friends and relatives along for the ride. Most fitting rooms cannot accomodate more than 3 people comfortably, and until you get things narrowed down, you do not need extra people telling you their opinion and trying to get you to choose THEIR dream gown. If you have a lot of friends/cousins/aunts you’d like to include in the process, send them pictures of dresses you’re considering (or similar styles if you can't get a picture of the dress in question) and invite them to see your dress once you’ve gotten it home.
7) Realize that not every store has every dress in every size. Be prepared to imagine, and to not be able to try on everything you’re interested in because of the size factor. Most samples that designers send out are 10’s and 12’s, although some allow stores to choose what size they will get. Some stores have wider ranges of sizes than others. The good news is that the dress doesn’t have to be the right size for you to get the idea, although if it’s huge or too small to get on you may have to forgo trying it on.