Have it your way, your way...

We live in a world that is always telling us "You are in charge, you should do what YOU want, express yourself... and here are some great products to help you do that!" Everyone is selling something, and this is no less true in the world of weddings. "Have it your way" could be the slogan of the bridal event planning industry. Reality shows, blogs, and magazines are all selling visions of what a wedding and the process leading up to it should be. Modern brides are lucky in that such a vast array of choices are available, and that in most cases they will have the final say, or at least a great deal of input into what their wedding celebration will entail. However, the vision of a wedding as the ultimate opportunity for self expression which predominates in most media carries with it a lot of pressures that don't necessary make for a more joyful process or event. My advice to any newly engaged couple, or for those who may have started the wedding planning process and become completely overwhelmed is simple: Stop and think. Don't start by looking at magazines and watching reality shows and looking at venues. These may end good things to do, but the first thing you should think about is not how things will look, but what the day really means to you as a couple. Think about this beyond the obvious, and make yourselves be as specific as possible. Think about what having family and friends share in your day means to both of you. Then, WRITE IT DOWN. It is so easy to get caught up in creating a "look" and a "feel" that you will want to have a centering point in moments of indecision or stress, where you can say to yourself, "It's not about the flowers, or the dress, or the cake (even though of course these things matter!)... it's about___________________." Then when you hear all the conflicting advice or can't decide whether you love peacock feathers or soft blushes as color inspiration more, you can take a step away and have a point of reference that is so much deeper. You will have decided what "having it your way" means on the very deepest level, and then you can let those lesser decisions about what "having it your way" might mean flow from there. Too many people start with the look and then don't stop to take the time to really reflect. They don't stop to think about what "their way" is beyond the surface. What your wedding means will be far more unique to each couple than any outward expression could ever be, so take the time to define and reflect on the most important part of "having it your way" so that you really do.