Have it your way, your way...

We live in a world that is always telling us "You are in charge, you should do what YOU want, express yourself... and here are some great products to help you do that!" Everyone is selling something, and this is no less true in the world of weddings. "Have it your way" could be the slogan of the bridal event planning industry. Reality shows, blogs, and magazines are all selling visions of what a wedding and the process leading up to it should be. Modern brides are lucky in that such a vast array of choices are available, and that in most cases they will have the final say, or at least a great deal of input into what their wedding celebration will entail. However, the vision of a wedding as the ultimate opportunity for self expression which predominates in most media carries with it a lot of pressures that don't necessary make for a more joyful process or event. My advice to any newly engaged couple, or for those who may have started the wedding planning process and become completely overwhelmed is simple: Stop and think. Don't start by looking at magazines and watching reality shows and looking at venues. These may end good things to do, but the first thing you should think about is not how things will look, but what the day really means to you as a couple. Think about this beyond the obvious, and make yourselves be as specific as possible. Think about what having family and friends share in your day means to both of you. Then, WRITE IT DOWN. It is so easy to get caught up in creating a "look" and a "feel" that you will want to have a centering point in moments of indecision or stress, where you can say to yourself, "It's not about the flowers, or the dress, or the cake (even though of course these things matter!)... it's about___________________." Then when you hear all the conflicting advice or can't decide whether you love peacock feathers or soft blushes as color inspiration more, you can take a step away and have a point of reference that is so much deeper. You will have decided what "having it your way" means on the very deepest level, and then you can let those lesser decisions about what "having it your way" might mean flow from there. Too many people start with the look and then don't stop to take the time to really reflect. They don't stop to think about what "their way" is beyond the surface. What your wedding means will be far more unique to each couple than any outward expression could ever be, so take the time to define and reflect on the most important part of "having it your way" so that you really do.

What is your Favorite "Ridiculous Wedding Moment"?

I hope people will feel free to post responses when they see this.

I have two, neither of which are ones that I personally witnessed.

1)I saw this in pictures from a friend: The sister of the groom wore a white dress with flowing skirt details to the wedding. It was short, but it could totally pass for an informal wedding gown. It wasn't a super formal wedding, so it really wasn't appropriate at all. She didn't manage to upstage the bride, but it looked like she was sure trying.

2) I read a story somewhere about a bride getting an RSVP from a guest whose children were not included in the invitation-common enough these days. In addition to adding her children, the RSVP included the information that the kids would want the prime rib dinner (and the kids were like 3 and under). Who does that? I was kind of impressed when I read that.

Setting the Scene with Music: Why church organists are awesome

Maybe some couples love doing it, but choosing music for before, during, and after the wedding can be a stressful task. If you are doing an Ipod mix, it is all you. There is no DJ to blame, nothing. The event sinks or swims based on your musical taste.

That is why I think church organists, other ceremony musicians, and DJ's are the most fabulous thing since sliced bread. They will take your requests, but can also advise you and help you choose music suited to your occasion. And if they are good at their job, they will be sensitive to all the people involved and help your event flow and feel right.

Too often couples choose songs based on what they like, and it isn't always a good fit for the occasion. It is one thing to personalize your wedding, another to fail to consider the big picture, your guests, and the feeling you want to create.

So don't feel like you have fly solo. It's good to have a list of some favorite songs/ pieces, and for the DJ your do NOT play list is always crucial. But a great professional will also have helpful input if you need it. I think sometimes we are think we need to figure out everything on our own after researching on the internet, but there are things an experience professional can tell you that might not read, and ideas they may have that would surprise you.

Fast as fast can be... Part III

This week's highlight is Da Vinci.

For brides who need a wedding gown ASAP, this is the designer I always point them too, because they tend to have many things in stock. They advertise a "1 week delivery" on many gowns, but in reality you should allow more time than that. If something is in stock, it can still take a month or so to get to you, plus you're most likely going to need some alterations. There isn't a list posted, but MOST DaVinci gowns are potentially available.

Da Vinci also has in stock bridesmaids- limited styles and colors, but they do have options. They do not list them on their website, but we have the options listed on our website, as for all of the other quick delivery bridesmaids- on the main page, underneath the comments section and to the right you will see a box that says "Quick delivery." The first thing that comes up will be wedding gowns, but below that there is a link you can click for "Quick Delivery Bridesmaids." The DaVinci styles and colors available are listed there for you!

The great thing is that if a style is a "Quick Delvivery Style" for wedding gowns or bridesmaids from DaVinci, there is no rush cut!

The image is of Da Vinci 9046, which is available for quick delivery in black.

To Corsage, or not to Corsage?

Tradition can be great, but in can also be cumbersome. I come from a tradition of weddings where every person who is doing anything as part of the wedding - cutting cake, serving coffee, doing the guestbook, is supposed to be corsaged, as well as mothers, grandmothers, godmothers, you name it.

According to strict etiquette, the only absolute requirement is that mothers be recognized, although most people recognize grandmothers as well. Any other special guests or family members may receive corsages at your pleasure, but it is optional.

Then there is the matter of boutonnieres. Other than the wedding party, these days usually fathers, grandfathers, and ushers will be the other boutonniere wearers.

There really aren't a lot of rules as far as what you do for corsages or boutonnieres as far as composition. Customarily, the groom's boutonniere will have an element similar to the bride's bouquet. Often you see grooms and groomsmen with coordinating pocket squares, which is a clean, more modern look.

As far as corsages go, if the bride has a certain way she would like them to look, then that is of primary importance. Otherwise, it is a nice gesture to find out what people will be wearing and choose flowers in complimentary colors. Usually you can't go wrong with soft whites and ivories, but if you are thinking of color you dont't want to go to all the effort of getting a beautiful big corsage and then have it clash!

Another thing brides may wish to do is enquire of the ladies they'd like to give a corsage if they'd prefer something pinned on their dress or a wrist corsage. If they are wearing a very delicate fabric, they may not wish to put a pin through it and risk leaving a mark. Or, people may prefer the pinned corsage to having something around the wrist- I personally cannot stand bracelets, so a wrist corsage would be a form of slow torture, however well intended.

One idea I've heard that I think is a really nice alternative to giving corsages is to place a small vase with a flower or two, or a small nosegay next to the place setting. This is an elegant and understated way to recognize special people, and they can enjoy the flower without the encumbrance of having to wear it, and also bring it home to enjoy.

Hopefully this gives anyone wrestling with these questions some helpful information and ideas, and just to reiterate, the preferences of the bride and groom are really the first consideration. So don't stress about something that in the scheme of things is really a small detail, and go with what works for you and your wedding!

Fast as fast can be.... Part II

This week's speedy deliverer is Alexia.

They have an in stock bridesmaids program. Not all of the available styles are shown, but many are pictured on their website.
The downside: they don't list color availability, and it is limited, although for some styles they do have 2-3 options.

Here is the link to what they do have on their website:
http://www.alexiadesigns.com/Bridesmaid-Wedding-Flower_Girl-Special-Dresses/InStock/pages/0/

There is a small fee per dress to do the in stock program, but it's less than a rush cut, which is nice.

Alexia also has some dresses that are part of an express delivery program, again the color availability is somewhat limited. The do not picture which dresses are available on their website. The express delivery is nice because there is no additional charge, and the dresses should be delivered in 8-9 weeks or so.
Here are the styles currently part of the express program (this may change so always check with us before ordering): 2500, 2700, 2702, 2706, 698, 840, 842, 844, 846, 848, 850. Also 1402, 2408, 2410, 688, 690, 692, 694, 696. Again, only in certain colors does the rush charge not apply.

So, if you are interested in an Alexia dress and your wedding is close, get in touch with us and we can check to see if it's offered in stock or through the express program, otherwise they do a rush cut as well so there are always possibilities!

Fast as fast can be.... Part I

I am going to do a series about each of the bridesmaids and bridal lines we carry that has "in-stock" or quick delivery programs. I'm starting with my fave, Eden:

They have an "in-stock" bridesmaids program, and they are my favorite because they show which dresses are in the program, and list the colors available on their website. Usually the dress just comes in one color, and the style numbers end in an "R".

Now, Eden says the dresses are available for "Immediate" delivery, however, they still have to process an order, send it to us, and then we need to send it out to you. So you still want to allow a month or so to receive the dresses.

Here is a link to the page with their in-stock dresses:
http://www.edenbridals.com/In-Stock-Bridesmaids_c_51.html

White or Ivory?

There are two things you need to consider when deciding on your wedding dress color:
your skin tone and your own personal preference. Don't even think about the whole "White is for purity" thing. Ivory is a shade of white. Most people can't even tell the difference unless they see the two together. So don't even let it be a concern. Think about what you like and what looks best on you.

White tends to look the best on people with darker skin tones. Against very fair skin it can be harsh, or wash someone out. Ivory will be softer and flatter fair skin. There is such a range of ivory shades available, from very light to very creamy, that even within ivory you may find that you prefer a lighter ivory or more toward champagne, etc.

At the end of the day, go with what you love. If you have fair skin and love the look of that dazzling white satin, then do what you can to get a little color and don't think twice. If someone close to you feels strongly that you should be in white, and you love ivory, then ivory it is. You are the one getting married, and you are the one who will be looking at yourself in those photos for decades to come. So, find a color, and fall in love!

Not that anyone needs another "to do" list...

but, here is a great little list of reminders of things to do after you buy your wedding gown from The Knot.


http://wedding.theknot.com/bridal-fashion/wedding-dress-shopping/articles/10-things-to-do-after-you-purchase-your-wedding-dress.aspx?cm_ven=Responsys&cm_cat=KnotNews&cm_ite=June%2021,%202011&MsdVisit=1

So, what is "vintage", really?

Vintage, like beauty, appears to be in the eye of the beholder. I have heard all kinds of things described as "vintage" that I would not necessarily apply that term to. Then, I did a bing search for the definition and went "Aha! The reason it is used so broadly is that it can have various meanings!" Here are the top two I think apply to the way people use the term when looking at gowns:

1)period: the period of time when something appeared or began, or when somebody was born or flourished
"Depression-vintage furniture"

So when someone uses "vintage" this way, they mean the gown looks like it is from a different time period 20's, 60's, whatever. This is the way I normally think of the term. And for it to be truly vintage, something has to be from that period. There is a difference between looking vintage and being vintage.


2)classic: recognized as being of high quality and lasting appeal
"a series of vintage Laurel and Hardy comedies"

In this sense, vintage becomes a synonym for "timeless." I think this is where the term gets applied all over the place. People love the way a gown looks and think it just classic and gorgeous, they may not have a certin era in mind, it just looks like an ideal wedding gown.


So, "vintage" can mean that the dress looks like it is from a past era, or it can be a synonym for "awesome." Works for me!

Time and Space: Two things you need to consider

I think it's very interesting when I see brides who are gown shopping before they have a venue chosen. Nothing is more key in helping you decide what you want then knowing when and where your wedding will be. Now, you may have a place in mind and a certain feel that you want to go for, but there's nothing like KNOWING the space you'll be in so you can imagine yourself on the day.

For time, worry less about season and more about time of day. If you are getting married in August outside, you may make different choices than if you are getting married inside in December. That's just part of the comfort of the dress, and how heavy you are ok with it being. The overall shape and style will be determined by the time of day ( which often has a big influence in how formal the event is) and the location.

I'm not saying don't buy a dress if you don't know where your wedding is. Some people manage to do this and make a great choice. But if you are thinking that you should dress shop as early as possible, I would say, if you have time, wait until the venue is set. It will help you narrow down the overwhelming options out there!

What's the deal with Dye Lots?

In bridal land, the model has always been that bridesmaids will order the same dress in the same color. So that's the way designers are set up to operate and make the dresses. All the dresses ordered at the same time, same color, same style.

Nowadays, many people no longer order this way. Even if all the bridesmaids are wearing the same style, it may be easier for everyone to order separately based on location. Or, more often than not, people are mixing styles in the same color, or a few colors and styles.

But the way dresses are made hasn't changed. Many designers have multiple locations where dresses are made overseas, and while they make every effort to standardize color, some dye lot variation is inevitable. There just isn't any way to control it absolutely.

What does this mean for you? Basically, it means that if you are ordering different styles, even if you order them all together, you could still get some variation of the color of fabric. Different styles can be made at different times and in different places. The variation is usually pretty slight, but just be aware of the possiblity. Personally, I think if the styles are varied, if you have a little variation of the shade of the fabric in one or more of the dresses, it's not a huge deal. But I know some people want it all spot on, and so if that's you, then get everyone in the same style and order them all together. And that's the deal : )

Why Kate's Dress Ruled ( In my opinion)

Everyone has something to say about The Dress. Some think it was perfect, some think Kate played it too safe. Some think it was dowdy, some timelessly elegant. Some think Kate has set the trend for years to come, others think that Pippa's dress was far more noteworthy. Well, I'm one of the fans, but what made the dress for me was not just the lines and the lace, but reading about the special details incorporated into both the dress and her accesories.

I won't go into extreme detail, if you're interested, you can read more at the official royal wedding site, see link:

http://www.officialroyalwedding2011.org/blog/2011/April/29/The-Wedding-Dress--Bridesmaids--Dresses-and-Pages--Uniforms

Some highlights:
Her earrings were comissioned by her parents and were inspired by her family's coat of arms. Her bouquet contains stems from a myrtle planted by Queen Victoria in 1845, and a sprig from a plant grown from the myrtle used in The Queen’s wedding bouquet of 1947. Crazy!
And, all the lace on her dress was hand appliqued by The Royal School of Needlework. The lace motifs contain roses, thistles, shamrocks and daffodils, the four different national floral badges of the United Kingdom.

Why this rules:
Kate's dress was simply beatiful, down to the tiniest detail. It wasn't over the top, but the crafstmanship that went into it... holy smokes. Also her choice of accesories and even flowers was full of thought and meaning. All weddings are about more than just putting on a show and making a statement, but I think sometimes we can lose sight of that. Kate's ensemble shows just how gorgeous and special blending modern and traditional elements can be.

When Carryover = Cryover

What is a carryover style? It's a style from a past season that a designer decides has been successful enough to continue offering. So any dress that is part of a collection but not from the current season is a carryover style. It's a good thing in a lot of ways- if every dress only lasted for one season, customers would have such a short window to buy them, and the longer you keep a dress available, the more opportunity there is to sell it, right?

I understand why designers want to keep dresses that have been successful in their lineup. If it's sold well in the past, it may continue to do so in the future. The problem is when you end up having dresses that are 4 or more seasons old. Even 3 can be pushing it (so it's almost fall 2011 now, 3 seasons back would be Spring 2010.) Bridesmaids the turnaround is a little slower than bridal, I would say. Most stores move old things out as new things come along- there just isn't room to keep every current style around. So, the older a style is, the less likely it is you will be able to find one to see in person.

That's when a carryover will become a cryover. A bride will see a picture of the dress online, think it's amazing, and then won't be able to find it anywhere. If she had never seen the picture, it wouldn't be a big deal. But some people get obsessed with thatpicture, and then compare everything else they see to it, which of course is hopeless, because if you can't see the dress in person, you can't know for sure that it's better. At this point some people just take the leap and go for it, but not everyone can do that. Some people have to see it in person, so they literally end up crying over a. Most designers don't put information about what season a dress is on their website, so you can't necessarily tell how old it is. In general, the farther you have to scroll down or the more pages back you go, the older, but not always.

So, how to avoid this potential pitfall? I would say, if you are a person who needs to see something in person to know it's the one, don't let yourself obsess over anything you see online. Be suspicious of everything. Get some ideas before you try things on, but then wait to see what you can find in person. Magazines will be a little safer, as long as they are recent. Anything more than a year old, don't even go there. Then you won't end up crying over a dress you can never see!

Why I Love Randy Fenoli

Mainly, I love him because he's adorable and a genius with fashion. But he's just a smart guy in general too.
Here's a little snippet that I thought had some really good advice. Enjoy!


http://blogs.discovery.com/say-yes-to-the-dress/2010/07/randys-rules-revised.html

Fall and Spring and what they bring...

So, everybody knows that normal clothes change with the season. Right before fall, fall clothes come out. Right before spring (or in our case in Minnesota, when it is still frigidly cold and depressing out) spring clothes come out. That's how it works.

From time to time, I hear from brides that are concerned to hear that the dress they love is from a Fall collection, and they are getting married in the Summer, or the dress is Spring and they are getting married in the Winter, etc.

What people don't realize is that bridal is its own special world, and so the seasonal thing doesn't have any bearing. Since you have to order your gown months ahead of time anyway, this should make sense, but I thought I would just put it out there since the concern seems so strangely common.

Bridal fashion has two seasons, Spring and Fall. Some designers put out a collection only once a year, but many have both Spring and Fall collections( some even do previews, so you could see a Fall preview, then Fall, then pre-Spring, then Spring... it can be a little silly!). Spring collections are usually larger, and it's just a bigger deal. Fall will have some great new things, but not as many, and you aren't as likely to see something earth shattering and new.

So, don't worry about what season your dress is- if you love it, then the timing is just right.

A Note from Captain Obvious: Hair and Makeup for Maids

I was looking at some photos recently of a wedding, and they looked amazing, except for one tiny problem. One of the bridesmaids had ATROCIOUS hair. It was clearly styled to look the way it looked, it wasn't just an unfortunate accident. And all I saw in those pictures was that bridesmaid's head. It REALLY stuck out. (Her hair was kind of big, and a much darker color than the others).

Here's the deal. Your bridesmaids may be gorgeous girls with great style in general, but that does not mean you should let them just do their thing on the big day. While matchy matchy hairdos are definitely not cute, there should be consistency with the look. Makeup too. Sometimes this just takes care of itself as people get ready together, but to be safe, make sure you are giving some guidelines ahead of time. And don't be afraid to tell someone if they need to change up their look. It will save us all pain in the long run.

Thanks for Listening,
Captain Obvious

Ruffle some Feathers...

What is it about ruffles? From flower inspired to deconstructed and jagged, with bling or feathers or without, they are everywhere right now, and there is just something about what they do for a dress! They add instant oomph and drama, but there's just something so darn romantic and feminine about even the craziest concoction that just makes you want to get married tomorrow... at least if you're me : )

Some people worry about the trend factor, that in a year or two there will be no more ruffles, but I really don't see that happening. There are always little changes and innovations, but 1) Bridal fashion changes more slowly than regular fashion and 2) There really isn't any one trend that the bridal industry follows these days. There is so much variety, and brides are all looking for such different things, that you really don't have to worry about having the experience of everyone who was married in say, the 80's or even the 90's. The bridal industry is so much more varied now.

So, if you dig it, embrace the ruffled/textured look and fear not. Ruffle it up.

2012 brides- Nice little Article

I'm always searching for good stuff online to share, and I thought this little post was nice. Planning too far ahead can be tricky in some ways, but it's great for the budget.



http://www.perfectweddingguide.com/wedding-blog/index.php/2010/08/30/wedding-planning-advice-how-should-i-begin-planning-my-2012-wedding/

Think Spring!

Spring is such a great season- love is in the air, flowers are starting to bloom, and everyone's mood is lighter. Here are some links to sites with some great ideas for spring weddings:


http://www.herecomestheblog.com/category/weddings-by-theme/spring/

http://www.springwedding.org/

http://wedding.theknot.com/real-weddings/spring-weddings.aspx?MsdVisit=1

Get Inspired!

Below is a link to a great post on WeddingBee showing some gorgeous Red Carpet dresses from recent awards shows. Some lovely ideas here!



http://www.weddingbee.com/2011/03/01/red-carpet-wedding-inspiration/#more-187140

Do not Over- D.I.Y.

Weddings these days are very much about expressing your unique personality as a couple, so the whole trend towards DIY for as much as possible makes a lot of sense. If you make it, you can have exactly what YOU want, plus it's more special. Bouquets, centerpieces, jewelry, hairpieces, invitations, you name it- so many things lend themselves well to being made by you and a helpful crew of friends and bridesmaids.

And that can be a good thing, but if you try to do too much, it can be a bad thing. There are a lot of things that can be made ahead of time, but then you run into issues of storage and transport sometimes (centerpieces). And if you have a last minute snafu (those flowers you ordered online showed up wilted the day before) you have to do your own troubleshooting just at the very busiest time.

So, I have two pieces of advice if you want to DIY up the proverbial wazoo, but don't want to go insane. 1) Prioritize projects, and 2) Delegate. Not all projects are created equal, so choose things that you can either get a lot of help with, play to you or a close friend/ family memember's talents, or that are just so special and important they can't be left out. And, don't make every project revolve around you. Have a point person who will make sure the table cards get that special touch, or who is in charge of making sure the fascinators for the bridesmaids show up at the wedding and don't get smushed.

I have watched brides go crazy trying to do it all themselves. Don't be one of them. It is NOT a contest : )

You don't have to just take our word for it...

So, we have awesome testimonials on our site, but everywhere you look online you can find good things about us. I did a search on Wedding Bee, and found some nice comments. We have the best customer service you will find, and our claim is backed up not just on our site, but on other blogs, the Knot, and most importantly, by our brides!

Here is one page on Wedding Bee where I was checking out comments:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/netbridecom-review

Up, up and Away...

wth Hemlines!

Bridesmaids dresses are now coming shorter than ever before, which can be a blessing and a curse, depending on the height of your bridesmaids! Most are still around the knee, but some of the newest short styles - some from Impression and DaVinci for example- are well above the knee even on someone of average height.

Most designers will offer 5" of extra length, so if the new shorter look is not to your taste, you'll usually have options.
And some designers offer multiple lengths. Jordan, for example, is offering most of their Spring 2011 collection in either knee length, tea length, or floor length.

I can remember when tea length (hits mid calf traditionally) was a big deal. Some people still like that length- it's a little more traditional, I suppose. But almost all short style now are worn either at the knee or slightly above ( Usually not more than an inch or two max). It's the most flattering, and you can work a great pair of heels.

Brides, don't forget to specify where YOU want hemlines on your maids if you have a preference. You can always leave it up to their preference, but give at least a range- around the knee, above the knee, etc.

I'll be interested to see where things go from here. I dont think designers can go much shorter, but I suppose you never know...

Is Your Flowergirl a Wild Child?

I'm a fan of flowergirls of all personalities: sweet and shy, sweet and not so shy, girly princess types, and of course, the wild ones.
What do I mean by "wild"? I mean the kid who marches to the beat of her own drum, isn't going to go for what you'd expect, and has a personality that stands out from the crowd. (I do not mean badly behaved. One can be a wild child and still vey well mannered!)

There are a couple of different ways you can tackle what can be a challenging task- agreeing on a dress you'll both love.

Way #1: Find a really simple dress, and pick out accessories together that let her express her personality. Let her have choices about a bunch of smaller details.

Way #2: Put her in a color that coordinates but contrasts with the bridesmaids. Traditionally flowergirls are in white or ivory, but I think color is always a great option (and slightly less stressful to try to keep spotless). Then she can feel special in her own color that isn't the same as anyone else's.

Just a couple of ideas! Another really helpful thing can be to look at pictures together before you do any actual shopping, so that you can get a feel for what she is interested in and will enjoy wearing. Ultimately, you're the bride and you're the boss, but a happy flowergirl on your wedding day may be worth a few compromises. Or there's always bribery.... :)

Pounds do not equal Inches

Maybe it's the time of year, but everyone seems to have weight loss on the brain. I've been in a wedding or two, so I understand all about wanting to tone up, and the thought of all those pictures you'll be in is a powerful motivation for anyone!

So, what do you do if you're like most people, and need to order a dress now to get in time for the wedding, but you know you'll be thinner then? Unfortunately, there's no formula anywhere that says something like: "If you lose 10lbs, you will be one inch smaller in measurement X." Not only is there no way to know how many inches those pounds you lose will bring you down, there is no way to know for sure just where they are coming off.

So, the best way to proceed, even though it's kind of a bummer, is to order the size you are at right now. You should be planning on altering your dress no matter what, and it's not going to make a big difference if you are taking the dress in an extra inch or two. Plus, think how fabulous you'll feel when the dress does come in and feels nice and loose, versus how terrible you'd feel if you did order down a size, but the way you lost the weight (or didn't quite manage to lose it!) doesn't put your measurements down to where they'd need to be that smaller size. You'll feel terrible, and no one needs that kind of stress! Plus, in the long run, you are looking at the potential for far greater expense if you get a dress that's too small and have to try to add in fabric, etc. Taking in is a breeze compared to that!

So remember, however many pounds you have as your goal to lose, be calm, cool, and practical, and just order for where you are right now. Sleeping at night is also very important to help you look as gorgeous as possible : )